What is normal anyway?

I was very surprised when I went to go visit my psychiatrist today. I made the appointment mainly to top up my script but I had to cancel yesterday because I ran late. I should've planned it better yesterday but it was my last day and everyone was saying good bye. I didn't think much of it. Today, when arrived for the appointment Dr. S suggested we look at attention deficit disorder as a possibility. I was in shock. Its so not me. Its the opposite of how I perceive myself but I did read a bit about it and some of it fits. A few sentences from here jumped out at me.

Like:

Alternately, you may have been able to compensate for the symptoms of ADD/ADHD when you were young, only to run into problems as your responsibilities increase. The more balls you’re trying to keep in the air—pursuing a career, raising a family, running a household—the greater the demand on your abilities to organize, focus, and remain calm. This can be challenging for anyone, but if you have ADD/ADHD, it can feel downright impossible.



Zoning out” without realizing it, even in the middle of a conversation.


Hyperfocus is actually a coping mechanism for distraction—a way of tuning out the chaos. It can be so strong that you become oblivious to everything going on around you. For example, you may be so engrossed in a book, a TV show, or your computer that you completely lose track of time and neglect the things you’re supposed to be doing. Hyperfocus can be an asset when channeled into productive activities, but it can also lead to work and relationship problems if left unchecked.

Poor organizational skills (home, office, desk, or car is extremely messy and cluttered)

Tendency to procrastinate

Chronic lateness

Underestimating the time it will take you to complete tasks

Sense of underachievement

Easily flustered and stressed out

Irritability or mood swings

Trouble staying motivated

Low self-esteem and sense of insecurity

Feelings of inner restlessness, agitation

Racing thoughts

Trouble sitting still; constant fidgeting

Now I am not saying I have all of these at the same time or even in one day. But I feel like that sometimes. But don't we all? Seriously, if you grow up in a loud house isn't it normal to develop the ability to tune out people/tv etc. while you read? And anxiety can account for constant fidgeting. And who doesn't feel inadequate sometimes?

I am disorganised sometimes but I finish things. I zone out but I am on medication which aims to make my brain work slower. I suffer from depression so half the self esteem issues fit into that too. Its just all so confusing. I am not keen to take more medication but I also don't want to fight a diagnosis that may help me. Still, it all sounds a little of a thumb suck. That said, Dr. S didn't change my medication. He says we will discuss it again.