Things that are worrying me...

At the moment there are quite a few things bothering me. My anxiety levels are completely up. I have been waking up earlier (worrying) and struggling to fall asleep (worrying) and I know there is a lot on my mind. I figure that maybe if I just list everything that maybe I can try deal with the issues worrying me instead of just feeling so anxious. So here goes.

1.) My MSc. corrections: I don't know if I am doing them 'right' and it bugs me that my supervisors don't seem to think that I did my best. There is always this little question that I rushed and I want them to acknowledge that I did a damn good dissertation. Also, my faculty seems to be unable to understand that I am missing some comments. I have finally got them to email the examiner to ask them for the missing comments but it is all taking so long.

2.) My new job: I want to finish my MSc. corrections before I start at the new job and that seems hopeless at the moment. I want to start getting prepared for the new job but they haven't sent me the induction material they promised.

3.) My sister: stuff at home is always difficult and so there is always worry about Savanah. Yesterday she couldn't sleep (she smsed at 12:15 to tell me). She went to watch "Something Borrowed" on Saturday. She said it was cute and when I asked her about the story she said (and I quote): "Its quite realistic as he was a cheating asshole". I don't want her to be so cynical and sad at 14. I don't want her to believe that love and marriage is not realistic. I just have no idea how to deal with it.

4.) Family: There are just so many issues at the moment and I feel like I kind of hid away from it all while I was in Harrismith. I know that when I go past my parents house tonight it will all come crashing down.

5.) My brother: He is currently not talking to me. I think he feels that he is having to deal with everything at home by himself. I wish we could just talk about it but he is angry at me. He thinks I don't contribute enough financially. When I refused to pay for half of the medical aid co-payment (I already pay for insurance etc.) he told me that he was going to cut me out of his life. I am so scared he means it. He can be hard. At the same time, I know I did the right thing. I have to have some boundaries and I am not angry with him. Its just all a crappy situation. But what if he never talks to me again? He got a promotion at work (my dad told me) and I smsed but he hasn't replied. Its just very scary.

6.) Money: I am going to get paid less at this new job till December. I will still have the same payments and its all going to be tight. At the same time, I have to stop procrastinating and get the student loan for my other brother. I am just so scared of having more debt. Brian manages to save quite a bit but its not my savings. I feel so vulnerable not being able to save. I don't want to suggest a holiday when he would have to pay for me. Equality is very important to me and money and debt are really getting me down.

7.) Work: I am so worried that as soon as I leave they are going to discover what a big fraud I am. I mentioned that I work for Brian's mom and she thinks I am wonderful. And despite all the blogging, I am up-to-date with everything. Still, I am so worried I won't have everything perfect when I hand over.

8.) Admin: I have to get another prescription for meds so I need to make a doctor's appointment; I have to change medical aids; I have to get the ADSL line at home fixed; I have email people and look after my sister and work on my masters and I just don't feel like I have enough energy at the moment.

All in all I am just stressed at the moment. Please tell me that it will all be fine.

Hope you guys aren't too stressed out!