Catching up

I am cuddled nicely in bed and I decided to catch up on some blog reading. Boy, did I miss you guys! Its so nice to read about people's day to day lives and share their joys (and sadness). I suppose it makes us feel connected.

On two of the blogs I read today, people had left nasty comments about the content of the blog. It was so odd. I mean, if I don't like something I read...I don't read it. Why bother to read about someone you don't like AND THEN TELL THEM ABOUT IT! Methinks they just want the attention. So annoying.

In other news: My one friend from school is engaged. I am surprised/happy/nostalgic/hurt/sad all at once because I saw this on facebook and I have never met the guy. I wish that it was as easy for me as it was for her to cut me out of her life.

I have been grappling with some of my issues with the psychologist lately and I think sometimes I focus on all the rubbish that happens in my family because it distracts from all the rubbish that goes on inside my head. I was so shocked to discover exactly how low my self esteem is (apparently, I have managed to hide that from myself). I spend so much time thinking "what is wrong with me...why don't they like me?" That I didn't realise how my whole persona is geared towards trying to make sure people like me. I give what I think people want. And that never works out because the people who want a mindless puppet as a friend will eventually grow bored and the people who want someone real, never get the chance to know you.

All I can say is the inside of my head is an odd place. That said. I am actually quite happy at the moment. And tomorrow is Friday which means my boy will be home. Yay.

Have a great weekend people.



p.s. How awesome is this?